Horrorscope

I was born as son of a clerk.
Everyone thought I was a jerk.
For I could see,
What they could not-
The future
In its true nature.

Come to me
I will give a glimpse of horrors
Awaiting thee.
With as few errors
As fresh water in the sea.

And I will give you methods,
To face them bravely
And to check the misfortune floods.
Here we go
Take a deep breath, my amigo

If you have a cycle,
Don’t go near it
Flat will be the tyres of your dear vehicle
Loneliness provided today,
Brings life to your vehicle’s gill.

Don’t eat anything for 49 days
Except kurkure and lays
For everything else is poisoned
With a poison
That works only on your father’s only son.

Your love will ditch you
To make her horrors few
I have a remedy
For this tragedy
Don’t love anyone
Chill and just have fun.

Future seems wee bit brighter.
You will lose only a penny
In all of next year.
That is your last penny
So nothing else to fear.

This is just a glimpse.
For the full version
Contact me on next lunar eclipse
With a beanbag cushion
To experience the apocalypse.